


Let it Grow in Me

by Boomchick



Series: Tumblr Prompts [16]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Coughing, Hanahaki Disease, Hiding Medical Issues, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24586525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boomchick/pseuds/Boomchick
Summary: Oneshot prompt fill from Tumblr.Sephiroth is perfect. Perfect. And Cloud is closer to him than he's ever been. So why... Why does his own body have to turn on him now of all times? Not that he really has to ask. The perfect white petals he keeps coughing up are their own answer.
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Series: Tumblr Prompts [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774831
Comments: 5
Kudos: 182





	Let it Grow in Me

**Author's Note:**

> One of a series of prompts written on Tumblr for those who are supporting the BLM movement. This one was requested by Anon who asked: "sefikura & any sort of hanahaki for the fic prompt thing? thanks for doing these btw, totally loving them!"
> 
> If you've donated, protested, or otherwise supported black lives, you can come and make a request too! https://boomchickfanfiction.tumblr.com/
> 
> WARNINGS: For shortness of breath and some suffering!

It doesn’t really surprise him. When he first starts coughing. He’s living in barracks, full of people. And he was never the heartiest kid in Nibelheim. Of course he caught something. It’s not a big deal and he’s not going to let it be one.

At first it’s easy enough to cover for. To slip away for a moment when he feels a coughing fit coming. A little more challenging during ‘hangout time’ with Zack and Sephiroth. But mostly only because he doesn’t want Sephiroth thinking he’s got, like, a bathroom problem. It’s embarrassing how often it seems lik ehe has to step out of the room and cough when they’re together.

But Sephiroth doesn’t comment on it. Instead, when Cloud apologizes, he just smiles, that small smile he only does around him and Zack. That makes him feel so… So special.

“I’m just glad you’re starting to be comfortable enough around me to take care of your own needs.” He said, a little dry, a little snide, but… Nice at his core. Cloud had been so surprised that he was nice…

He hadn’t managed to escape the coughing fit that overtook him as he inhaled to reply, but Sephiroth just seemed to assume he’d aspirated something, and had fetched him a glass of water.

Cloud took a sip, then realized there was a touch of blood pluming into the glass. He drained the rest of it quickly, before Zack or Sephiorth could notice.

The blood started to become a normal thing. He knew, scientifically, that that was probably a bad thing. Like, blood generally was. But he told himself he’d just torn up his throat coughing or something.

Still, he kept it carefully out of sight of anyone. Took to wearing his gloves around, just to make sure coughing into his hand wouldn’t leave hi with rest spots on his pale hands.

Zack wasn’t able to make it to their next hangout session. Cloud texted Sephiroth to ask if he wanted to call it off, feeling a little queasy.

'Why?’ Sephiroth’s response said. 'It will be nice to get to know each other better.’

Cloud’s breath came in a wheeze as he read it. He didn’t even notice. He kept thinking about it all day, feeling his chest get tighter and tighter.

It got worse that night. No matter how he hacked over the sink, it still felt like there was something– Something…

He reached two fingers back into his mouth. Touched something soft and pliable with his fingertips, lodged in his throat. Pulled it free slowly with trembling fingers.

The pale white petal was speckled all over with blood. Cloud held it in one gloved hand, staring down at it. His hand shook, his fingers twitching.

Just a fluke, he told himself, trying to take deep, slow breaths. Just a fluke. That would teach him to ride on the back of Zack’s motorcycle. He’d swallowed a petal somehow.

Next time he’d ride with Sephiroth. Maybe Sephiroth would let him. Maybe he could wrap his arms around him. Hide his face in his silver hair. Feel if his body was really as broad, as strong as it–

He choked. Hunched over the sink, gripping the sides tightly with both hands, hacking and coughing.

Half an hour later, he finally left the bathroom. The blood washed down the sink, and seven white petals in the garbage can.

One, the one with the least blood, he kept.

_____

“Aerith says it’s from a moonflower,” Zack said, smiling warmly, like he always did when he came back up from visiting 'his girl.’ “She also says I’m supposed to beat you up and find out your source, cuz she wants some.”

“I’d give her some if I could,” Cloud offered, managing a strained smile. He didn’t know why he’d needed to know what the flower was called.

“Hey,” Zack said, lifting a hand to touch Cloud’s forehead. “Are you doing okay? You look a little out of it.”

“I’m okay,” Cloud said quickly, clearing his throat. “Just… Had a bit of a cough. I… Think I should skip hangout time tomorrow, though. Will you tell Sephiroth for me?”

“You have his number,” Zack reminded him. “It’s not like he’ll be angry, Cloud.”

“I know,” Cloud said, feeling that awful, gurgling, unnatural cough coiling in his chest again. “Just… He might take it better coming from you.”

“Nope!” Zack said, slapping his back. “Come on. You like him, right? Just let him know you’re sick. He’ll probably send you fancy tea. He likes you!”

Not likely, Cloud thought. He managed not to cough until Zack had ushered him back to his bunk. Then he curled in bed, finally letting loose as the coughing tore through him. He kept his hand clamped over his mouth to muffle the sound, until he had to release it. The petals had filled his mouth, threatening to suffocate him. He coughed them onto his bed, braced on his elbows, watching the white petals with their red spots pool beneath him.

_____

“You didn’t tell him?” Zack’s message the next night asked.

Cloud hadn’t left bed. He’d kept the petals out of sight, but everyone had heard him coughing. There was no hiding it anymore. He’d barely stood up before the sergeant told him to report to medical.

Cloud hadn’t. He knew what medical would say. What they would do.

If they cut the petals out of him… That would be it. He’d never…

It was too much. The enormity of it. The way his heart sped up when Sephiroth was near. The way his soft smiles had become more frequent in Cloud’s company. The kind, careful touches he’d given. Four of them. One to Cloud’s shoulder, one to his hair, one to shake his hand the first time, and one to pat his back. Cloud treasured them. Curled up around the gnawing, choking presence of the petals in his sternum and tried to breathe.

It was just his luck. Finally getting to meet his hero, and falling so hard for him that it was killing him.

He stayed in his bunk. He didn’t go to medical. But Zack’s text hurt. Hurt and startled him. Somehow he hadn’t expected Sephiroth to notice he wasn’t there.

“Sorry,” He texted back. “Brain fuzz.”

“He’s worried.” Zack texted back a while later.

“Sorry” Cloud replied numbly, wondering what worry looked like on Sephiroth. Had his eyebrows furrowed over his sake? Had those perfect lips turned down? Had his hands wrapped more securely around his mug of tea for comfort?

A new text chimed. Cloud couldn’t check it right away. He was hacking up flower petals again. Head between his knees, choking on their softness. He finally managed a gasp for air, one hand pressed over his aching chest, the other still gripping his phone. He wiped blood and drool from his lips, feeling sick with himself.

His eyes locked on the text at the same moment he heard the door open.

“We’re coming down.” It read.

“Cloud?” Zack asked with a hollow, shocked note in his voice.

No, Cloud thought. No no no. Don’t let…

But when he lifted his eyes, he was staring straight up at both of them. His heroes. Zack, his eyes huge with fear and confusion. And Sephiroth behind him, looking not at Cloud but at the small mound of petals between his feet, globs of blood weighing down their soft perfection.

“What are you DOING?” Zack asked, jolting forward into motion.

“I can explain,” Cloud rasped, tensing for rebuke, for pain.

Zack just grabbed him in a hug. Clung to him tightly, tangling one hand in his shirt and one in his hair.

“How long have you been sick?” He asked, fear shaking his voice.

“A… A couple weeks.” Cloud admitted, clenching his eyes shut.

He couldn’t look at Sephiroth. He knew. He had to know. It was obvious from the petals. So white. So soft. People had to do this to him all the time. He had to have people begging him to save them from the petals strangling them over his love ALL THE TIME. Annoying, Cloud scolded himself, squeezing his eyes tighter as tears burned them. You obnoxious fanboy!

“We have to get you to medical,” Zack said, taking half a step back, squeezing his shoulders. “Hanahaki’s no joke, Spike.”

“No!” Cloud said with startling vehemence. “No I don’t want–”

His voice broke, his breath hitched. He grimaced. Pulled away from Zack, reaching into his mouth and pulling free another flower. It had become normal for him. It wasn’t for them. Zack made a strained, horrified sound.

“That petal you asked Aerith to look at–”

“I just wanted to know.” Cloud muttered, letting the latest soft white fragment of a flower fall from his fingers to join the others on the floor. He felt so tired… So tired….

A soft footstep drew his attention completely. He didn’t lift his head. Kept it lowered, even as those black boots entered his field of view. He sucked in a breath as Sephiroth went to one knee before him. The petals shifted in the wind of the motion, a couple spilling out of the pile as Sephiroth knelt before him.

“Cloud?” He said softly, and Cloud finally forced himself to lift his head.

Sephiroth’s expression took his breath away. Not just a quiet worry. Outright fear. And confusion.

“Please,” He said softly. “I know it’s stupid. I don’t… Don’t make me lose this yet. Please?”

“It is killing you.” Sephiroth said, his voice still so perfect. So controlled.

“Please,” Cloud whispered. “Just a little while longer? I know… I know it’s… I know it’s childish. You must be so… So grossed out by me. I didn’t mean to hide anything, I just–”

“I am not grossed out.” Sephiroth interrupted, lifting a hand.

Touch number five was over his chest. Careful and kind. Just Sephiroth’s fingertips over his sternum. Cloud added it to the vault of feelings in his heart, and curled in on himself, breaking it far too soon as the emotions dragged him into another coughing fit.

“I have never seen–” Sephiroth started, glancing up to Zack in worry.

“Spike,” Zack said, sounding sorry and worried. “You gotta go to medical.”

“I–” Cloud choked, feeling hot tears of shame and sorrow erupt from him. If they cut the flowers out… He’d never feel like this again. He’d lose what he felt for Sephiroth. It wasn’t fair. They were his feelings. They were his…

“Is there no other way?” Sephiroth asked, his voice soft and uncertain.

Zack and Cloud both turned to him. Regarded his confusion with confusion of their own.

“I mean,” Zack said after a moment. “Hanahaki’s a messed up thing. It’s either get it removed and lose your feelings for the other person or, you know… Relationship things.”

“Then,” Sephiroth’s brows furrowed, looking to Cloud. “Forgive me. I want to be certain I am not misreading the situation. Cloud. Is it me?”

Cloud almost laughed, Except Sephiroth was just so damn earnest. So weird, and so earnest and so… Perfect…

“Yes,” He admitted in a whisper, feeling heat rise in his cheeks and the vines in his chest squeeze.

“I see…” Sephiroth said softly. Then he lifted his hand– Touch six, his cheek, and– Touch seven.

Sephiroth’s lips were warm. Too still, too dry, but so, so real. Cloud could feel his breath. Could smell it, past the flower petals and blood. Not perfect. Not untouchable. Just the pizza they’d been planning to order all together. Zack dragged in a breath beside them, and Cloud felt Sephiroth hesitate. Felt him start to pull back, as if he wasn’t sure…

You’ll never have the chance again, Cloud told himself, and went for it. Pressed forward. Locked their lips together. Tangled his hand boldly in that silver hair, wishing he hadn’t worn his gloves today. That he could feel it, even if only for this one moment.

“Huh…” Zack said as Sephiroth gave a soft moan into the kiss and pressed closer. “Yeah I… I guess that could work?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and for the request!  
> Please donate to https://atlsolidarity.org/ if you can to support my local BLM movement, or find the organization closest to you and support them!


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